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Now that the second season of Marriage Bootcamp: Bridezillas is on WEtv I can finish my posts about my thoughts while watching the show.

Why aren’t their marriages working? What can we learn about marriage God’s way?

In the Bible God gives directions to married couples. Many people don’t like what they read and ignore it or have never heard it and so don’t follow it. I don’t know which category the Bootcamp couples fall into, but I can see that not following God’s plan for how married couples should interact is making them miserable.

So what does God say? In Ephesians 5 He directs us:

21 Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, and I mean in reference to Christ and the church; 33 however, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

As I see it there are 2 ways the couples on both seasons of the show are not following Ephesians 5.

(1) The couples are not being “subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.” In the Theology of the Body, blessed Pope John Paul II called this a “mutual self-gift” meaning both partners are thinking of the other first and using their time, talents, & treasure to care for the other’s needs before their own. However several of the couples are both being selfish and only thinking if themselves. Instead of letting their partner be thoughtful & loving & decide to serve them, the selfish one is demanding that their partner serves them out of fear. The selfish one is robbing both of the opportunity to be Christlike.

(2) The couples are lacking the complementarity that is naturally present in our masculinity & femininity. Husbands are supposed to be the heads, not to lord it over their wives or demand service, but to protect & defend & lead by example like Christ does for the Church. In several of the couples the wife does everything & treats her husband like a child. He is hurt & shuts down because he isn’t getting the respect he deserves ( see verse 33). Then the wife is upset because she isn’t getting the love & emotion & protection she needs. Whereas if the husband had taken more of a headship role & if the wife had not been so dominating and let her husband take that role, she would be able to respect him & he would blossom & lay down his life for her.

I look forward to watching the couples learn these lessons and I pray that all of us would be able to live them out.

For more information I recommend:
theology of the body
Christopher West
Wild at Heart