I’m not ready. I’m not ready for my oldest to grow up. I’m not ready for him to think he’s too old to watch Sid the Science Kid or Word World or Super Why or any of the other PBS Kids shows we would watch together as part of our “homeschooling tv curriculum.” I’m not ready for his world to revolve around video games. But he is.
Jacob was a rather high-needs baby. He preferred to be held by me. He wanted/needed me to be there all the time and do everything for him as a baby. Daddy wouldn’t do & MomMom definitely wouldn’t do. Jacob was the poster boy of Momma’s boys. Other people would comment to me “how can you stand it?” Or “I’m so glad my child isn’t do sensitive.” But I didn’t mind nursing him every 2 hrs all night long. I knew it was a phase and one day he would be too big for my lap and one day he wouldn’t want me to kiss him. One day he’ll be a teenager & not want to be seen with me in public. One day he’ll be grown up & not even live in my house anymore! People always say “they grow up so fast.” Therefore I tried to treasure those moments.
Now it seems like the little kid phase is ending. I’m sad. When did he get so old? When did he start watching Cartoon Network? When did he start learning more from kids at school than from me? When did he get old enough to finish chapter books late at night without me?
But isn’t that what motherhood is all about? Ever since we find out we’re pregnant we’re moving our kids down the road to independence. First we grow them big enough to live outside our bodies. Then the umbilical cord is cut. Next they wean from the nourishment of our breasts to solids & table food. Then walking & school & more. Some milestones are met with cheers & a feeling of accomplishment. Others are met with tears & a feeling of abandonment. Either way our children are not really ours- they are a gift from God. Our children are on loan to us from Him. It’s our job to raise them to the best of our abilities & form them into the best-version-of-themselves so that they are a gift back to God and to the world. Motherhood is a long slow process of giving them roots so they can find their wings and then letting go.
Hopefully we don’t get so caught up in chores that we miss the precious moments while they’re young.
Lord, please help us to remember these special times. Open our eyes to see what gifts our children are. Mother Mary, pray for us to be able to let go & give our children to God and to the world like you did at the foot of the cross. Amen.
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways.
-1 Corinthians 13:11